So, I seem to be mad at the world these days. People go around as the world turns and I'm dealing with a dragon (FYI, dragon is hepper terminology for the virus) and these people are going about their business. Bitter, party of 1 right here. Or, they are grumpy or complaining about the stupidest things and I just want to say "You think you've got it tough right now? Let me tell you what I'm dealing with." But then I realize that that would be like throwing a pity-party and that's not what I want. I am trying to stay positive and receive positive energy from everyone. It's just that when people complain about things I consider trivial, I just want to punch them.
Severe irritability is a side effect of hepatitis c (and also of the treatment) but I didn't feel this way until AFTER I was diagnosed so I'm certain it's just a part of the grievance process. Apparently there are 5 stages and they are the same as losing someone because in essence, you're losing yourself to a virus that wants to kill you. Want to know what they are? They will come in handy when you're dealing with anything severe:
1. denial and isolation (oh yes, isolation)
2. anger (oh yeah, no stranger to that)
3. bargaining (like I'm looking to buy a new Aston Martin on my salary)
4. depression (well yeah)
5. acceptance (I thought I hit this but now I'm not certain)
Today is Tuesday and this week so far has been mostly anger. A little depression but not as much as the anger. Those goddamn sons of bitches complaining about trivial things! =D
Dr. Kang (my acupuncturist) treated not only my liver and immune system today, but also some other points for my anger. Metaphysically speaking, the liver and anger go hand in hand. Dr. Kang informed me of that as well as someone on a forum I belong to. No wonder I want to punch so many people!
I have many of the same grieving issues I have to deal with. I often tell my hubby I wish I'd never, never known about this.
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